HOW TO HELP YOUR CHILD DEAL WITH TRASH TALK

Let’s face it. As much as we try to shelter and protect our children from the cold, cruel world, our sweet, innocent kids are going to hear words and see things that will make us, as parents, cringe and shake our heads.

Sooner or later young athletes will hear profanity and trash talk on the playing fields and inside gymnasiums.

Fortunately, there are ways to intercept these occurrences and better prepare children for the harsh realities of life.

The father of the 10-year-old boy said the key for him was “pre-gaming” with his son and talking with him to give him some expectations. The dad figured his son would hear words that he hadn’t before in “real life” when the boy began playing in a competitive, nationwide basketball organization.

“I wanted him to be ready for the words and the possible insults,” the Dad said. “As usual, he rolled his eyes and told me that he knew about those words and it wasn’t a big deal, but at least I felt better for talking about it with him. Now we can talk about it when it happens and it’s no big deal – and we can even laugh about it.

“We talked about the fact that he would hear these words and to be ready for it. On top of that, we talked about the fact that many times (most of the time, really), the bad words would be directed toward him or his teammates. I told him that it’s easy to say the words we don’t say but that it isn’t nice or appropriate to use them.”

The father also sat down with his son and discussed ways to handle situations that might arise.

“I told him about the importance of staying cool. We talked about the different kinds of trash-talkers and their motivations – trying to intimidate the opponent and/or trying to ‘psych’ themselves up. Fortunately, my son is a confident kid and player, so it hasn’t bothered him too much, but it is constant – at every game or tourney in which we play – local, regional, national or whatever. No matter what income level or race, the words and negative actions are going to happen.”

The father never considered confronting other coaches because he feels like it is his son’s battle to fight.

“With all of the refs and coaches around, I’m not really worried about the talk escalating. Not to mention, some coaches are the worst offenders.  As the competition level increases, the intensity level of the coaches definitely increases, so one word of advice to the parents is to do your homework on the coach.”

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